Tonight we'll fly away so high
Our first full moon sky

I'll breathe you in
(i won't let you down)
I won't hold you back
(i wont make a sound)


I sighed and curled my arms around my knees. The whole expanse of the beach was totally empty; no one else on the reservation shared in my misery. I looked up at the moon, shining silver and full. Under its gaze, I almost felt cold. I had to be imagining that though—I don’t get cold. Ever. One of the perks of being a monster like me.

But apparently, being cold is a perk of being a monster like him. I can’t believe she picked him, after all that he did to her. After all that I did for her.

The world trembles. I grit my teeth and grip my legs tighter, trying to stop the shaking. I never thought I could be this bitter.



I know what scares you the most

Being Alone
Just like them
Being Alive
Feeling so... dead

At least you have my heart
You know you shine so bright


I take a deep breath. I am calmer…but never calm anymore. I can’t be calm, not knowing that she does love me. Knowing that she loves him more. He’s probably touching her, right now. He could be biting her…killing her. “That’s none of your business.” Like I don’t even matter.

The shaking starts again, a growl emanates from my chest, deep and throbbing. My vision splits into pieces, and I know that I can’t hold it in this time. I make a run for the forest, leaving a trail of clothing in my wake.


I got a single silver bullet
I shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive
Without you
Got a single silver bullet
Shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive

Can you sleep at night
(If I hold you tight)
I won't let you go
(This feels so right)


The moon is mocking me. I can feel it gleaming off of the fur on my back as I tear through the trees, sprinting on all fours until I make it to her house. I can’t think of anywhere else to go.

My Bella. What can I do?

I lope through her yard and halfheartedly sniff under her window. Everything reeks of vampire. Disgusted, I curl up there in the grass and push my muzzle down between my huge paws. In the back of my mind, I’m wishing it was me in there, holding her in my arms. There’s an unfamiliar ache building up in my chest; finally I can begin to imagine how she felt when he left her. I can’t conceive of how I can go on feeling this way…How do I live, knowing that she’s going to die, so she can love him? She wouldn’t have to change for me… Sam’s quiet voice cracks into my thoughts. You shouldn’t be there, Jacob. Come home.

I whine, unable to refuse the injunction. I stand and cast one final look up to her window. He stares down at me; I can see his eyes glinting gold as they follow my movement. Shuddering, I turn away, not capable of avoiding Sam’s command any longer. I’m aware of his gaze on me the whole time I run; I carry the disconcerting feeling with me, even when I know I’m out of his view.



Please don't leave this time

At least you'll have my heart
You know you shine so bright

I got a single silver bullet
I shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive
Without you
Got a single Silver Bullet
Shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive


Sam is there when I phase back. He doesn’t yell at me. He walks beside me, somehow just as graceful when he’s human as he is when he’s a wolf. I don’t look at him, though I can feel his scrutiny. “Jacob,” he says softly, “She’s not yours. You can’t just… The pack needs you, think of them. She’s not worth killing yourself over.”

I can’t believe he just said that out loud. “There’s a good reason why human thoughts are concealed within the mind. No one else is ever supposed to hear them.” I cast a glance at his face, darkened by my tone. “And she is worth it, Sam,” I murmured faintly.


Tonight, we'll fly away so high
Tonight, We'll fly away
You know the moon is full and
I can't live without you

Tonight we'll fly away


I sit alone on the beach, on the sun bleached tree that, in the past, Bella and I would have shared. Instead of Bella, a pistol shares the seat with me. There’s only one bullet in it…For the sake of irony, it’s a silver one. I smirk a little at my sense of humor, but it’s soon lost in the gravity of my thoughts. Sam always has a way of getting to me…

There are sounds approaching me, crunching footsteps in the rocks. I don’t turn to look; it’s probably just one of my ‘brothers,’ coming to persuade me, again, that she isn’t worth my life. “You can save your breath.”

“I’m trying to save yours, actually,” a gentle voice murmurs behind me.

Slowly, I twist around to look at her. “What are you doing here?”

The smile on her face is a sad one. “Saving a life, I hope. I’m not too late, I think…” Her eyes traveled from my face down to the gun beside me. “Edward said you needed me,” she added hesitantly, lifting her gaze back to mine. “He said you were at my house tonight… and your thoughts—” Her voice broke, and she reached out for me.


Tonight, tonight
Tonight we'll fly away
Tonight

I got a single Silver Bullet
I shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive
Without you
Got a single silver bullet
Shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive


Without thinking I took her in my arms, smoothing her hair. What had I really thought? That she would rather have me dead, that she wouldn’t care if I was alive? How stupid of me. I can’t do anything without hurting her…

“Why would you want to… Don’t you want to live, Jake?” Her voice was rough with pain.

“No,” I whisper, more to myself than to her. And I realize that I don’t. “I think you should go, Bella.”

“Jake, no…”

“Please, Bella.” She can’t save me. And she has someone else to save her now.